Goodbye, Hello.

Goodbye

In my darkest, loneliest nights

you wrapped me in your arms.

No matter where I was going,

you were never far.

I remember the moment I met you

it was one of those nights

where the gaping hole,

within my soul

could no longer put up a fight

          comparable to love at first sight.

I let you in

… you engulfed every cell within my body.

An insidious poison…

…from the inside, out – slowly rotting.

Your words of comfort and reassurance

travelled through me.

You made the unbearable – livable,

the unthinkable – a reality.

You stole my dreams – and morphed them into tragedy.

With every tear shed,

every breath

every muscle aching,

all the times you left me paralyzed

my sanity – taken.

You would always show up

even when I said I didn’t need you

that I’m ready to leave you

you would slowly creep back in.

You used me,

Abused me,

Built me up

and tore me apart.

But today I get the last word,

because I’ve had enough.

I’m taking back what belongs to me…

My life – my heart.

Hello and welcome to all who are discovering this blog. It is my hope to share with you the triumphs, hardships, and moments of discovering life throughout my journey and recovery.

I have struggled with an opiate addiction for the past 2 years which has landed me in a variety of terrifying, lonely, and dangerous situations.

Without getting to far into what brought me here, I would rather like to focus on the present time, I would like to emphasize that this is my experience and healing process.

Throughout my teenage years I battled with anxiety and depression and found comfort in codependent relationships. My passion of helping others lead me to nursing school. In my 4th year of nursing school everything changed.

Through the grace of God I am here today, taking it one day at a time. The above is a poem I recently wrote saying goodbye to my addiction – and hello to my recovery.

-Monika

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